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I’m an ex-delivery driver- what we really think when we drop off your parcels

MANY of us are guilty of going a little overboard with online shopping – when your purchases are delivered straight to your door, why wouldn’t you?

After all, it’s so easy and convenient, and essential if we’re working from home or with kids.

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Online shopping is so convenient, but think about your delivery guy who drops off hundreds of packages every week.Credit: Getty

But have you ever thought about what it must be like to be the delivery person who transports packages from A to B?

Here, recently ‘retired’ Mike Simpson, 31, reveals what it’s really like to be a delivery guy, and what he’s really thinking when you answer the door in your pajamas in the middle of the afternoon…

“I was stressed even before I delivered a package”

They say dealing with customers is one of the worst parts of a job. But for delivery people, the stress begins before they even set foot in the van, as they have to deal with a giant, less exciting version of the Jenga pack.

Mike says, “Weirdly, one of the most stressful parts of the job was before a package had even been delivered.

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“Filling the van with all the packages in the correct order was an absolute nightmare as although it is a logistics based company it is ironically one of the least organized companies I have ever worked for.

“Sometimes it would take hours just to put all the packages in the truck, as often everyone’s packages would get mixed up in heaps.”

gown decorum

We’ve all been there, answering the door for the postman wearing pajamas or joggers like we’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.

But it might make you feel less embarrassed to know that delivery people have surely seen much worse.

Mike says: “I was surprised by how many people never seemed to wear normal clothes.

“There were a lot of properties that he delivered packages to almost every day, and they always seemed to be in their robes, no matter what time it was.”

Packet puzzle solved

Have you ever come home to find a package “hidden” in your container, thrown over the fence, or left in a strange place, and wondered what was going through your delivery person’s mind?

Well, apparently there are a couple of reasons why this happens.

Mike says, “Packages are sometimes left in dangerous places for a couple of reasons.

“First of all, some drivers get a bonus for every package they deliver over a certain amount.

“If they have to return the package to the warehouse after it has taken all that time to arrive at the property, they will not be paid and they will also have to try to deliver it again the next day.

“The process of dropping off a card and returning it to the depot also takes longer outside of the allotted time window, so it’s often best to leave it in a ‘safe place’ as if it didn’t deliver enough packages. you don’t get the bonus.”

In addition, some drivers claim that they have very tight time limits, and even if it is not their fault and they are stuck in traffic, for example, they could be fired if they do not meet their goals.

Mike adds, “Each delivery has a one-hour window in which you have to deliver the package.

“Because of this, it’s hard to avoid driving like crazy just to make sure you actually get paid for all the hard work you’re putting in so you don’t ‘miss’ the delivery.

“My routes were quite rural so I didn’t get many multi-parcel deliveries, but guys working in the city centers would sometimes get 20+ parcels, all weighing 30kg each, for a single delivery.

“That was bound to be an absolute nightmare as you would only get the same amount of time for this delivery as you would for a single package.

“It was also very frustrating trying to find parking spaces on a busy city street, especially on the one-way systems.”

Watch out for the dog (poop)

They say our canine friends are man’s best friends, but if you’re a delivery person, it could go either way if you have a dog living in the house you’re trying to send a package to.

Mike says: “The dogs were often some of the highlights of my day and I never had any problems with the dogs, but some of my colleagues have been bitten multiple times when the owner was out of control.

“I recently heard a story where a dog went for one of the guys when he was delivering but got the package instead and then destroyed it in front of the customer.

“Some properties with dogs would also have the added challenge of dodging huge piles of dog shit everywhere.

“An absolute nightmare if you lost the challenge and it ended up in the truck on the sole of your shoe.”

caught short

If you open the door to a grumpy or restless driver, there may be a very good reason. Working up to 14 hours a day, Mike says: “There was never time for a break.

“No one took breaks all day because the days were already so long that you didn’t want to do anything to make them longer.

“You would have to eat while driving and hope you can find some bushes on the side of the road if you need a pee.

“You don’t have many options to find a public toilet as you’re working against the time limit of your delivery, so I’m told some people have come up short before, and workers have been known to use a bottle to pee in the back of the van.

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Muddy

Also think about your delivery man when it rains.

Mike adds: “This was guaranteed to make his day that much harder as he would spend the day cold and wet.

“If it was a property I hadn’t been to before, it was often much more difficult to find the right address in the rain, and since I delivered to a lot of farms, you’d end up covered in mud almost instantly.

“On top of that, since almost all packages are cardboard boxes, they would disintegrate while the truck was being packed, so they were a soft, soggy box upon delivery.”

Have you ever come home to find a package right on your front step, in full view of anyone passing by, and wondered what the delivery guy was thinking?

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Have you ever come home to find a package right on your front step, in full view of anyone passing by, and wondered what the delivery guy was thinking?Credit: Getty
Being a delivery person is much more stressful than you think

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Being a delivery person is much more stressful than you thinkCredit: Getty
The dog houses produced mixed results: For Mike it was the highlight of his day, but some of his colleagues had been bitten multiple times.

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The dog houses produced mixed results: For Mike it was the highlight of his day, but some of his colleagues had been bitten multiple times.Credit: Getty

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